Reviewing a Year

     Truly it is amazing how time flys. The 2010 year has come and gone in a blink of an eye. It has had its share of good times and bad times; a combination of tears and laughs. In the past year my experiences have been so numerous. I have tried new things, I have seen new things, meet new people, learned more of who I am as a person and as a son of God.
     It has been a while since I've written a blog. Mostly because I have not known what to write about and I've been busy with so many things going on during the holidays. But now that most of the craziness is over I can start writing again and what else to write about but the past year and my experiences.
     Around this time last year until the about March was a busy time of the year. I had gap, which was going really well, dodgeball, which was going amazing and in full swing and I had work which was keeping me as busy as possible. Dodgeball took up a good amount of my time. It was real busy work to run a ministry. Especially a ministry like dodgeball. Gap, the high school youth group, took up my entire Sundays. I would be at church all day from 10am until about about 8pm. The reason I would be at church all day is because I would run the sound and lights for gap and I would have to set up all the sound equipment and lights by myself and that took me a while to do. If I finished up early I would go out and get some lunch or an early dinner but but it would normally be a quick trip out cause I would have to get back to the church for worship practice. After gap and all the kids went to small groups, I would stay and clean up all of the sound and light equipment by myself and move it all into the oasis room. Sundays took a lot out of me. Once spring came around, soccer season started and I got extremely busy with work and reffing and keeping up with gap and dodgeball. During the spring my schedule would be pretty simple, I would go to work in the mornings then right after work I would go straight to a soccer game or two and then sundays I would be at church all day. That was pretty much my schedule for the whole spring. Once school was about to get out, and up to this point my year was going pretty well, everything went from good to bad pretty quick. I think I wrote about all that in a other blog though so I wont go into it again. All I will say about it is that it was a very difficult time for me. The rest of the year for me was pretty much similar schedule wise minus the sundays. I had those back and was able to do what I wanted to which was exactly what I needed. Almost all of my college career, I was involved with gap somehow and during the rest of the week I had absolutely no days off from either school, work, or even gap. This lead to one of the first things I learned last year about myself. I need a day off to myself where I can do whatever I want to do and just relax.
     Anyways, I'm starting to ramble. During the summer, after I started to feel less angry at people, I heard something that had a bit of an impact on me and caused an "Ah-ha" moment. I was driving and someone told me that one of the biggest reasons I got picked on was because I'm a great and nice guy and other guys are threatened by that. Another thing I learned about myself is that I can be very shy but at the same time I can be very out going. I love being around people and being close to people. As long as I can remember, I've always enjoyed being there for people and talking to people even though holding a conversation is not one of my strengths. I also learned a reason why I can be so frustrated and upset when I'm at home. By no means am I proud of it but I feel like its true. But I don't think I'm going to get into that thing. Recently, I was having coffee with Joe K. We were talking at starbucks and he pointed a few things out about me. Things like, I like having new things and getting new things. I don't really appreciate being made to look like an idiot and being embarrassed infront of people. Nor do I like when people try to out do me. By that I mean, when people tell me that I am not doing something right and step in and push me aside. I get upset. Besides all those things, I feel like I've just hit the tip of the ice berg. There is still a long ways for me to go but I am always finding out new things about myself.
     Overall, I would say that the 2010 year was a good year. Naturally it had it's ups and downs but every year is going to have those times. There is nothing we can do to not have a down time in any year. They are a natural part of life. Never can it be predicted that something bad will happen. It is how we deal with those times that helps define who we are as people.

My Life Experience

Right now, I have so much going on in my head, so much I want to write, I don't know where to start or what to write about. But I think that in order for you to understand what I will be writing about later on in this blog, I will need to start at the beginning and give you some background information about myself. I was boring to my mother at a very young age. My parents dubbed me the name Scott M. Lichtfuss. I grew up in a christian home. My dad would not go to church, except on holidays, and my oldest sister doesn't go to church anymore and I don't see my other sister going to church very much at all. As I grew up, I was always shy and somehow became the awkward kid. If anyone knew me, they knew that I was the kid in class that always got picked on. I was the unpopular kid and picked on all the way through my junior year of high school. In my junior year at Wego, I finally had some friends. I didn't hang out with them outside school much, went to prom with this small group, but I pretty much hung out with them before school started and at lunch. As a child, I had a short temper but a loving heart. I hated to be teased and it really caused me to get angry at people quiet a bit. Sometimes it got to the point that I'd lose my anger at home and cause my parents greif. If people were nice to me, they would be my best friend. However, if they made me angry, I would hate them. It was a big problem. But as I grew up I learned to control my anger. When I was about 5 or 6 years old, I was diagnosed with ADHD. Today, that doesn't seem like its a big deal because "everyone" has it, but back in the 90's it was a big deal. It isn't always easy living with ADHD, and I'm not making excuses. I have to take adderral everyday to help me concentrate.

Up until recently, I really did not know who I was. I have been slowly figuring that out over the past 4 months. I have known who I was outwardly, but inside, I had a very minute understanding. What started this internal search for myself was a huge wake-up call. Back in May, I got pulled out of Gap and Dodgeball for a number of reasons that I don't want to get into. Anyways, when I got pulled out of dodgeball I hit a pretty low point. I got angry and wanted to just stay at home and do nothing. I stayed angry for a few weeks. After I cooled down, I really began to look at who I was. I sat down with my mom a couple times this past summer and we talked. We decided that I really do need to find myself and the best way to do that is to try new things and take a vacation where I could try even more things. One plan I had was to take a vacation to Florida to visit my uncle and aunt. I was looking forward to it but the week before I was going to leave, all of the pilots that flew for the airline I was taking went on strike. So unfortunately I was unable to go on the trip. Instead of this vacation, which I will have to go on eventually, I ended up just going out and around to other places and try different things. Things like sushi. For anyone that knows me, they know that I don't like raw fish. So its extremely important that when I'm eating sushi, that I don't know what I'm eating. If you tell me I will get sick to my stomach. Since my start at finding myself, I have learned many things. For example, with the help of Oz, I have learned that one very possible reason that I have been picked on my entire life, is that other guys see me as a threat. They know that I could get any girl I wanted because I am so nice. That I am a great guy. They see that and get under my skin to bring the worst out of me. Oz has admitted to doing it before and it makes a lot of sense for things that happened when I was younger and now. I have noticed that some of my friends have done it when there were attractive girls around and all because they see me as a threat.

I have also learned some of things of what I like and don't like. I have found what kind of foods I like. Some foods that I found I like are pho, which has become one of my favorite foods, hen, thai and cambodian foods. I enjoy mexican food, italian food, ribs, steak, hot wings, and pizza. Besides food, I have found out that I like camping, canoeing, hiking, driving, flying, playing ultimate frisbee, bags, play football and soccer, listening to my music and watching movies. On the other hand, I have also found what I don't like. I don't like it when people lie to me, or make me feel stupid. When people are being lazy or want to goof off when it is supposed to be a serious time, I get upset. This list itself is fairly complex and could possibly get its own blog. I may write about it some other time.

Overall, the past few months have been a long journey that has been filled with new experiences, old experiences, and digging for my roots. The next few months will be an interesting time. It is going to be a time of in depth interpersonal study. I will have to continue to learn what makes me tick. More about what I like and don't like. I am in the process of figuring out what I am going to do for a living so I will have to figure out what school I will attend and what I will major in.