Right now, I have so much going on in my head, so much I want to write, I don't know where to start or what to write about. But I think that in order for you to understand what I will be writing about later on in this blog, I will need to start at the beginning and give you some background information about myself. I was boring to my mother at a very young age. My parents dubbed me the name Scott M. Lichtfuss. I grew up in a christian home. My dad would not go to church, except on holidays, and my oldest sister doesn't go to church anymore and I don't see my other sister going to church very much at all. As I grew up, I was always shy and somehow became the awkward kid. If anyone knew me, they knew that I was the kid in class that always got picked on. I was the unpopular kid and picked on all the way through my junior year of high school. In my junior year at Wego, I finally had some friends. I didn't hang out with them outside school much, went to prom with this small group, but I pretty much hung out with them before school started and at lunch. As a child, I had a short temper but a loving heart. I hated to be teased and it really caused me to get angry at people quiet a bit. Sometimes it got to the point that I'd lose my anger at home and cause my parents greif. If people were nice to me, they would be my best friend. However, if they made me angry, I would hate them. It was a big problem. But as I grew up I learned to control my anger. When I was about 5 or 6 years old, I was diagnosed with ADHD. Today, that doesn't seem like its a big deal because "everyone" has it, but back in the 90's it was a big deal. It isn't always easy living with ADHD, and I'm not making excuses. I have to take adderral everyday to help me concentrate.
Up until recently, I really did not know who I was. I have been slowly figuring that out over the past 4 months. I have known who I was outwardly, but inside, I had a very minute understanding. What started this internal search for myself was a huge wake-up call. Back in May, I got pulled out of Gap and Dodgeball for a number of reasons that I don't want to get into. Anyways, when I got pulled out of dodgeball I hit a pretty low point. I got angry and wanted to just stay at home and do nothing. I stayed angry for a few weeks. After I cooled down, I really began to look at who I was. I sat down with my mom a couple times this past summer and we talked. We decided that I really do need to find myself and the best way to do that is to try new things and take a vacation where I could try even more things. One plan I had was to take a vacation to Florida to visit my uncle and aunt. I was looking forward to it but the week before I was going to leave, all of the pilots that flew for the airline I was taking went on strike. So unfortunately I was unable to go on the trip. Instead of this vacation, which I will have to go on eventually, I ended up just going out and around to other places and try different things. Things like sushi. For anyone that knows me, they know that I don't like raw fish. So its extremely important that when I'm eating sushi, that I don't know what I'm eating. If you tell me I will get sick to my stomach. Since my start at finding myself, I have learned many things. For example, with the help of Oz, I have learned that one very possible reason that I have been picked on my entire life, is that other guys see me as a threat. They know that I could get any girl I wanted because I am so nice. That I am a great guy. They see that and get under my skin to bring the worst out of me. Oz has admitted to doing it before and it makes a lot of sense for things that happened when I was younger and now. I have noticed that some of my friends have done it when there were attractive girls around and all because they see me as a threat.
I have also learned some of things of what I like and don't like. I have found what kind of foods I like. Some foods that I found I like are pho, which has become one of my favorite foods, hen, thai and cambodian foods. I enjoy mexican food, italian food, ribs, steak, hot wings, and pizza. Besides food, I have found out that I like camping, canoeing, hiking, driving, flying, playing ultimate frisbee, bags, play football and soccer, listening to my music and watching movies. On the other hand, I have also found what I don't like. I don't like it when people lie to me, or make me feel stupid. When people are being lazy or want to goof off when it is supposed to be a serious time, I get upset. This list itself is fairly complex and could possibly get its own blog. I may write about it some other time.
Overall, the past few months have been a long journey that has been filled with new experiences, old experiences, and digging for my roots. The next few months will be an interesting time. It is going to be a time of in depth interpersonal study. I will have to continue to learn what makes me tick. More about what I like and don't like. I am in the process of figuring out what I am going to do for a living so I will have to figure out what school I will attend and what I will major in.
